Amazon Review: Donald Trump Make America Great Again Hat, Red
★ December 9, 2015
I am sure Amazon sells a lot of Trump hats and the US government-attacking books and everything else.
I am not a Tiger’s Blood slurping winner like the religious segregationist followers who give this hat five stars. Further, despite the fact that I graduated cum-laude and Dean’s list from a college with a double major in Geology and Political science, I find myself being told I am wrong about a lot of things by the wearers of said chapeux. These hats seem to instill immaculate and magical levels of expertise and sophistication about, well, about every single possible subject that anyone in the world brings up for discourse about any thing at all. Which does seem ironic because, according to the polls, the people who wear these hats share a common disdain for higher education.
Amazon, You will certainly sell enough of just these bright red hats to compensate for losing me as a hat customer. And of course all the winter and Christmas shopping our household does. And the summer holiday and vacation items (why don't the umbrellas ever last more than a year ?) And then, obviously, the shoes I buy and the Winter clothing (El Nino, dude) and the Summer clothing (Global Warming, DUDE). Or the car buffer I bought my friend last week after my kid scratched his car learning to drive in the desert near Hurricane. Or the gift cards I usually send out (and maybe even the ones my mother always buys for about 50 people in our family). And don't even mention all the stuff my adult children and spouse would normally buy (again are women's shoes important to your books ? - Cause oh man does my wife like to buy shoes ...) And, sadly, these hats probably generate more money than my Prime account. And my wife's Prime account and even the videos my kid buys on the weekends that she doesn't know we keep track of for decency's sake.
No worries there.
I don't even think your sales of these hats that only happen while I write this note will be offset by the sad reality that I and my family won't be pre-ordering "Star Wars: The Force Awakens" in 12 weeks, or whenever it comes on to your digital download shelf. (Why are movies worth pre-buying again anyway? Do we get a lego-saber or something?)
The thing is this:
In my gut, I sincerely believe that Donald Trump and his followers have suddenly evolved into the greatest blundering threat to Freedom in the world since the last guy who said "Work will make you free", and "Let's ban, torture, require travel papers but still arrest, deport and put into camps everyone from one specific religion because it makes us feel powerful".
I have enormous respect for you Jeff, and the business you have created and your thousands of employees. But as long as you sell a single item representing or profiting Donald Trump, none of the paychecks your employees get for Christmas or Hanukkah or Chinese New Year or Return of the Wandering Goddesses Day or Bahdi Day or even Spaghetti Monster Solsitice-Buffet (I am a zealous “garlicy toast covenant” factionalist myself) will have a single red cent of mine. Not even the flag pins and "central park" flash crap - because he owns that trademark too.
Sincerely, and with that one profoundly ironic yellow star of negative review,
Adieu
The Ex Cowboy
P.S. America is Great now.
We are already so great.
